I’m a good role model just not the one God wants me to be.
‘Preach the Gospel at all times, and when necessary use words’
St Francis of Assisi
I’m not sure if this quote belongs to Francis, he seemed like a good Godly guy who was pretty straight down the orthodox line and I’m starting to wonder whether this quote is even partly true. You see I am a good role model who people respect and even mimic my actions, just not the ones God wants them to mimic.
I’m a middle manager to a small team of professionals and office staff, which means that I’m there pretty much every day, and have been since late 2001. I’m responsible for managing people not clients and so my team know me well; they all know that I’m a born again Christian, many know I preach at church and quite a few know I’m a church elder.
In late 2012 I found Crossfit. At the time I was heavily overweight and slowly dying at my desk. The new gym was over the road from my office and colleagues got used to seeing me running slowly and in a red sweaty mess past the windows of my office. My colleagues thought I was mad. Since then I have lost all of that fat, put on a heap of muscle and I’m currently in the shape of my life. When I started Crossfit no one had ever heard of it and no one in the office worked out. Now 3 other people in our small team all attend regularly, a 4th goes to a ladies only gym, a 5th goes on regular lunchtime walks and runs, and a 6th swims and goes to a globo gym.
In 2014 I decided that sitting down at my desk wasn’t doing me any good and was grinding away at the benefits of training. So I built a homemade stand up desk. Even though they were now physically looking up at me, the team thought I was crazy. Now there are 6 standing desks in the office.
How come my physical example and witness is making such an impact on the team? How is it that watching my physical transformation has meant that I have converted so many sceptics, and more importantly why is it that my spiritual witness has failed to have the same impact? So today I’m back to old St Fran and wondering whether the world really sees enough of the Gospel in me to desire Jesus? Don’t get me wrong I’ve had some good conversations with a couple of non Christian colleagues but none of them are asking ‘so where do I get this Jesus you have’?
You see I’m wondering whether the change in my physique is greater than the internal change that people see through Christ. I know I’m not the same guy I was when I arrived 17 years ago, and that God has changed me beyond measure, but if my colleagues don’t see it, or at least don’t see that God has done it then how effective is my physical testimony?
The other Francis I love is Francis Chan. This quote hits me between the eyes:
‘Our greatest fear as individuals and as a church should not be of failure but of succeeding at things in life that don’t really matter’.
Ouch — is that me? Am I succeeding at being a good bad witness? It sure sounds like me. I don’t want my colleagues to look at my body and want good biceps or a flat stomach. Instead (and to again quote Francis Chan):
“I don’t want my life to be explainable without the Holy Spirit. I want people to look at my life and know that I couldn’t be doing this by my own power.”
I am rapidly coming to the conclusion that I need to explain that hope that is within me to add to my physical testimony. That my acts may mark me out not only as a good guy, but in combination with my words as a God guy. That people hear the good news; don’t just see the odd glimmer. My prayer is that I become more like Jesus and exemplify that fantastic messianic prophecy from Isaiah 61:
‘The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, Because He has anointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed; To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord’.
I think I’m done with whispering, it’s time to proclaim.